Senin, 28 Juni 2010

is it love

How do you know when you’re in love with someone? Is it when he’s the first thing that comes into you mind when you wake up and the last thing that you think of before you go to sleep? Or is it when your heart melts every time he looks into your eyes? The truth is, the signs come in a thousand different ways.

When you’re having a really bad day and hearing his voice on the phone just makes it all go away.When all you want to do is listen to him talk passionately about his plans for the future. When you would sacrifice your shopping time just to cheer him up on the field. When a mention of his name makes you miss him so much. When all you want to do is staying up and taking care of him when he’s sick. When your face glows every time you meet him. When even the way he laughs and eats and sleeps fascinate you. When you realize you can finish each other’s sentences. When you can recognize his perfume from miles away. When you laugh when he laughs. When you love seeing the reflection of yourself in his eyes.When you can’t stop smiling every time people talk about the two of you. When you remember him in your prayer. When you feel that he’s the only one who can understand you. When everything that makes him happy will make you happy, no matter how hurtful it is inside. When you’re often torn between your own egocentricity and your feelings for him. When really you’re mad at him but all you want to do is cry on his shoulder. When you can’t help glancing at him every other second as you’re both in the car and he’s seriously watching the traffic. When you actually enjoy the moment when he’s teasing you eventhough you’re pissed. When you dream of yourself being married to him with kids. When you want to be the woman who makes him coffee and puts on his tie every morning. When you’re seriously reconsidering the relocation because it means leaving him as you move to another countryWhen you find his boyish whining attitude is endearing. When you find his snoring endearing. When you have your own nickname for him. When every time his name pops up in your inbox you smile. When you gladly wipes his sweat as he changes your flat tire. When you find his singing entertaining even though he can’t carry a tune. When you forget when was the last time his name doesn’t cross your mind. When you can remember perfectly the sound of his funny laugh, his fake laugh, and his amused laugh. When he’s the only face you want to be on your 500 bucks Anya Hindmarch be-a-bag. When you would stay awake just to watch him sleep. When you’re seriously thinking of getting a tattoo of his name on your left hand. When he makes you happy and makes you cry at the same timeWhen you want him to always be your ‘imam’ when you’re praying. When you’re glad that you can be helpless sometimes because it means you can rely on his strong arms to help you.When being with him makes you want to be a better person. When everything could go wrong in the world and it’s okay, because he’s there, with you.

taken from : A Cup of Tea by Gita Savitri Devi
make your own one and let me know, bold/larger the line that fits you.

Selasa, 15 Juni 2010

Untuk Tuhan

Untuk yang tercinta, Tuhan,
sungguh, hari ini aku bersyukur. Bersyukur karena Kau memberikanku teman-teman yang luar biasa. Teman-teman yang tidak hanya tau cara bersenang-senang, namun juga menopang. Bersyukur karena mereka selalu siap meruncingkan telinga mereka untuk mendengar, mendengar keluh kesah dan rasa sakit sahabatnya; dan tak lupa membukakan tangan mereka untuk memeluk, mengamankan. 

Tuhan, hari ini aku bersyukur. Bersyukur karena aku disadarkan. Disadarkan bahwa semua orang memiliki sakitnya masing-masing. Namun aku juga disadarkan. Disadarkan bahwa tak peduli betapa banyak sakit yang harus diderita, aku, aku dan sahabat-sahabatku, akan selalu punya tempat untuk mengadu. Aku takkan sendiri, tidak. Tidak pula mereka. Sungguh Tuhan, hari ini aku bersyukur. 

Untuk yang terkasih, Tuhan, aku berterimakasih.

Senin, 07 Juni 2010

I guess I'm not that tough

They're just a great pain in the ass. They take you for granted, they're great dump-ers. Yeah dump-ers, as if that even a word. Mereka makhluk yang disebut cowok. Cowok as in pacar lebih tepatnya. I mean, boy-friends are really really great, but boyfriends? I don't think so. They tried real hard to get you (or at least made you think they're after you), play with your heart, and after they're bored? Boom! They give you a bitter ending. At least that's what they always give me. Buat gw mereka nggak adil. Mereka yang membuat para cewek-cewek jatuh cinta (bahkan membuat cewek-cewek yang tadinya benci setengah mati pada mereka jadi luluh) tapi mereka nggak bertanggung jawab. Saat udah bosen, mereka biarkan saja wanita-wanita malang itu tersengguk-sengguk sendirian. Sejak itu, gw pikir, that's enough playing around with feelings boys. I've had it. Well, no offense, I know not all boys are like that, but who knows? Maybe I'm just ain't lucky getting those who are real jerks?  

Lama-lama gw pikir, gw gak butuh pacar. Being single sangat menyenangkan. I get to hang around with my friends all the time, gak butuh izin ini itu, dan gak ada berantem-berantem yang merusak mood. I feel tough, and independent. Ya, beberapa bulan belakangan ini. Gak tau juga sih kenapa, yang jelas beberapa bulan belakangan ini, especially after I ended my last relationship, I lost trust. I don't believe in love. It's not that my last boyfriend was a monster or anything. He's actually nice and all. It's just that... I don't know, I just can't trust anymore.

But I guess I'm not that tough. Saat hari ini gw kesal dan bosan, sekedar mencari orang yang bisa diajak smsan, bikin gw ketawa, jadi kuping yang siap ngedengerin ledakan-ledakan amarah dari mulut gw. I know that's a best-friend's job, tapi entah kenapa gw lagi pengen aja berkeluh kesah dengan orang lain. With no special reasons. Mungkin karena liburan ini gw mulai nonton film cinta yang menye-menye lagi? Atau karena salah satu temen gw berencana memberikan suatu surprise gift ke pacarnya? Gak tau juga.someone who I could give cheesy love songs to? or simply someone who I could give my home made brownies to? You know, just simple cheesy stuff like that. I guess I'm not that tough now... Mungkin ternyata gw butuh orang yang... hmmm... bisa gw sms saat gw lagi kesel? bisa buat gw ketawa saat gw nangis?

People come and go, really nice people. I know I just need to trust again. And hopefully when I do, I'll meet my fairytale prince. I hope this time, my heart will choose him and his heart will choose mine. Then, we'll live happily ever after.

N.B:  Lirik lagu Both Sides Now-nya Love Actually yang satu ini lagi menjajah pikiran gw.. it goes like..

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall.
I really don't know love at all.